Finland



It has come to my attention that many nations have been awe-struck by a small northern tribe, whose members fail to be understood wherever they go and whatever they attempt to do. I will not aim at describing the most popular mental illnesses found in Finland, because that's something that people richer and wiser than me are supposed to do. Nor will I try to explain that there is, in fact, a perfectly satisfactory reason for the behavior of these people, because there isn't.

Instead, I will try to further encourage the bad reputation of Finland abroad. It is my strategy to prepare you for the worst, because in doing so you know what to expect and thou shall not be disappointed (to a relevant degree). By the way, I have contacted your neighbor (yes, that sabre-toothed monkey next door) and he says you're eating way too many donuts. You really should consider eating bananas instead.

[did you notice that the above paragraph both starts and ends with the word "instead"? fascinating.]